Lies to Suicide
by yaminokokorouta
Summary: After a serious arguement with alfred, arthur is spending this 4th of july in his house depressed  consider that your prolouge cuz it goes right into the main story :3  UsxUK yay hope you like it
1. Mask

"We'll be together forever big brother!" Those were your words. Where are you now?  
Have you left those words behind along with me?  
What happened to "a hero always keeps his promise"? Did you leave your childish remarks behind too?  
You've changed… or maybe I've changed. Either way I'm alone stuck in my remorseful past.

It's not that I've haven't been alone before… Why is this time different!  
Your very presence mocks me, being so close but just too far like a single firefly glowing in the night so I can see you but then you flicker out before I reach you.

I hope you're happy, I'm tearing myself apart for you  
all for you…  
Though you can't tell because of my mask of lies.  
_I'm okay… _Lie  
_I don't care… _Lie  
_I'm glad you left! _Lie  
_I bloody hate you… _big lie  
_I hope you die! … _Worst lie  
I make those lies only to protect myself from _your_ truths  
"_You're so annoying…  
It's a good thing I left!  
I hate you!  
Why don't you just do us all a favor and just die!"_

Heh… that's a good question… Maybe I should, it's not like they'll miss a solitary, cynical and sarcastic island nation anyway. I better write a will then…

_I wish for all my land to go to Peter. No discussions.  
I want Francis to stay away from Peter.  
And last of all, Alfred…  
This is your early birthday gift, hope you're happy.  
But just so I can ruin it a bit I will tell you this one last thing:  
I love you._

That's good enough. Now let's see, a good old bullet to the head should do. I pulled out my hand gun. A little fairy says _"Arthur please don't do this!" _I just waved her away and started to pull the trigger and as though summoned by a miracle, you came… Alfred…

"Hey, I was just wonderi- ARTHUR!" When I saw your face I _almost_ stopped, but it was too late and the trigger was fully pulled. Not even a second later there was a loud _BANG!_ And I readied myself to welcome the darkness.

-END-  
(maybe)

**Authors Notes: Hi! Well that was just a big piece of shitty angst lol. I literally wrote this in one night… I might write a sequel (depends on my mood). Feel free to review (may increase chances of a sequel :D) At first it started as a poem then it made me think of Arthur and then it was born! Well that's all I really want to say bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi yea im writing a few more chapterish things for this story, sry bout not typing this out earlier (stupid school, and performances n stuff :P) the chapters are kinda short in this story cuz I didn't really know what to do with it lol. Ok this chap is going to be alfreds side earlier that day, enjoy I guess :/**

"God this is so infuriating!" I literally screamed that out. For the first time, I can't concentrate on my video game and died…. AGAIN. If only that annoying Brit wasn't on my mind.

(a few hours earlier at the UN meeting)

"Yo England, you listening to my plan of awesomeness? You look a little spaced out. All the nations were sitting at a large u-shaped table listening to America's latest stroke of _genius _all except one Brit, who was somberly at the far end of the table.

"I'm okay git. I'm just not in the mood to listen to you rubbish again."

"Gosh you're so annoying my plan is made of pure genius!"

"Well you may think your plans are great but have you ever thought that I approve or care about it."

"Sheesh what's gotten you all mad."

"Oh I don't know maybe you." The fight was slowly but surely escalating and every other nation in the room could tell, even Italy moved closer to Germany.

"Man it's a good thing I left, you're always putting me down." England hesitated slightly before retorting.

"Well I'm glad you left! You never listened to me anyway."Arthur shouted.

"God, I hate you!"

"I bloody hate you too git! You're always being unreasonable and childish!" There was some desperate under tone to his voice but Alfred didn't pick up on it, too busy with his own anger building up.

"Why don't you do us all a favor and just die!" he yelled, letting the anger out with the first insult that came to mind. Arthur opened his mouth to say something but no words came out, he looked utterly shocked. There was a long uneasy silence until the ever so cheerful Russian said

"We should wrap up today's meeting da~?" There was a silent agreement among the nations as they all left to back to their respective countries, the mood very awkward.

(end flashback thing)

I long gave up on the game and started looking around for something else to do. Which was nothing! Well I might as well get something to eat.

"Time to raid the fridge!"

Sadly there wasn't much there. I need to go food shopping soon… hey what's that? My eyes landed on a small brown paper bag. I grabbed and opened it to see what was inside, eww scones oh wait they actually look edible O.o Wow Arthur finally got a batch right. I guess I can eat these. Hmm.. peanut butter should go well with em.

I wonder if I should eat this I mean it is Arthur's cooking… Oh well I mean it won't kill me… right? OMG it actually tastes good! In my 223 years (just guessing) of knowing him, his cooking has always failed. I smiled, I remember throwing those rock hard scones out the window when he wasn't looking but on day the window wasn't open and that thing shattered into like a million pieces… ok Alfred stop thinking about that annoying guy who thought your ideas were crappy. *sigh* But Still our fights usually don't get that heated I wonder what was up with him.

I let my eyes wander a bit and then something caught my eye- a calendar and today's date July second. Shit! That must be why he was like that, with Independence Day coming up. Man I feel guilty now and I said all that stuff earlier… maybe I should go over and apologize… yeah that's what a good hero would do.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I decided to put the epilogue with it cuz it looks short so this will be it. Thank you for actually reading it and putting up with my hatred of typing and laziness btw cheesiness warning at the end

* * *

(Recap)

"Hey I was wonderi-ARTHUR!" When I saw your face I _almost_ stopped but it was too late and the trigger was fully pulled. Not even a second later there was a loud BANG! and I readied to welcome the darkness.

(Arthur's POV)

I felt numb. Is that what being dead is supposed to feel like? It doesn't feel good then… I kept my eyes closed waiting for some kind of indication of where I am, as in Heaven or Hell. Then I felt a warm light feeling, it felt nice… My senses were coming back to me and I found out that feeling was your arms around me. How the bloody hell am I alive? Suddenly I was overwhelmed by a feeling of wanting to cry and that is what I did as I wrapped my arms around you tightly. Why are you holding me.. I thought you hated me, I must look pathetic…

(Alfred's POV)

Why? Why Arthur? Why did you do this! Is this my fault? I finally overcame the first few seconds of shock and rushed over to where he was sitting. There was a surprising lack of blood to my relief. I checked the gun and it had jammed. I was so relieved I just grabbed Arthur and held him closely and tightly. Thank you whoever's up there that's he's still alive. I would never want the person I care for the most to die, especially like this. Then I felt a pair of weak arms around me and I tightened my hold of him as if I were the only person holding him together, keeping him from falling apart, and let him cry.

(Regular POV)

They stayed like that for a while saying nothing. By then Arthur's tears had stopped and he just laid his head on Alfred's shoulder staying in the warm embrace. After a bit Alfred gently grabbed Arthur by the Shoulders as if he were a porcelain doll and made it so they were staring at each other. Alfred's expression was gravely serious and Arthur's slightly shocked and his face was flushed due to the crying and his embarrassment.

"Why?" Alfred said in a low but still audible whisper. Arthur looked away. "Arthur…" The Briton shook his head still evading eye contact and then *slap* Arthur's hand shot immediately to his cheek which was now throbbing slightly.

"Why'd you try that! Was it my fault? I didn't mean anything I said! I don't hate you at all I just got mad and wasn't thinking straight. I didn't remember that day was coming up either!" Arthur just sat there motionless while letting the American's words sink in. "I really don't hate you and I wasn't thinking. I would never want you to die in a million years, not you, not the one I care about, not the one I lo-"Alfred stopped when he realized what he was about to say. _No, I can't give him another useless burden._

_What was he going to say? Like? Love? _Arthur felt a strong need to need to say sorry for putting another burden on the young American's shoulders.

""Look I'm sorry.."" They said at the same time surprising the other. They both smiled a bit if it weren't for the serious situation Alfred would've laughed a bit.

"I'm sorry for slapping and yelling at you earlier and I'm really sorry about the things I said at the G8 meeting." Alfred said breaking the would-be awkward silence.

"Ok and I'm sorry for being an insufferable emo jerk and for what I said at the meeting"

-=-=-=-=-=Time passes :P=-=-=-=-=-

"Hey Iggy can I stay here for the night? I don't feel like sitting in a plane for 7 hours" Alfred asked. _Also I want to make sure Iggy's okay._ He added mentally. They were sitting at a little table in the dining room. He was drinking coffee while Arthur was drinking tea.

"Fine and stop calling me Iggy!" Alfred pouted.

"Aww, why? It sounds cute." He smiled when the Briton's face turned red.

"Shut up git or you can't stay the night!"

"Sheesh fine…"

"Are you hungry? I still have some leftovers."

"NO! I mean… I ate on the plane" _His scones may be better but I'm not taking my chances._

"Okay then. Do you need to shower?"

"Already did"

"Okay I'm going to take one, don't touch or break anything!"

"Gosh Ig-Arthur, I'm not a kid." _Wow first he was all depressed and stuff and now he's back to normal… well it's for the better._ He smiled.

With that the Brit left the room, muttering something about Alfred being an oversized kid, and a few minutes later the shower started. _Let the boredom begin…_ Alfred let out a loud sigh and started to think of things to do. _Well he said I can't touch or break anything so I'll just _look_ through some of his stuff. _He scanned the room, nothing of interest here just some plates, tea cups and other things you would find in a dining room. Then something caught his eye. It was a piece of paper sitting on a table in the next room. For some reason he felt drawn to it so Alfred stood up and went to get the note. He picked it up,_ Let's see what this says._

_I wish for all my land to go to Peter. No discussions.  
I want Francis to stay away from Peter.  
And last of all, Alfred…  
This is your early birthday gift, hope you're happy.  
But just so I can ruin it a bit I will tell you this one last thing:  
I love you._

Alfred stared at the will for many long seconds processing the last three words.

"It sure is like him to tell me that _after_ he would've been dead" _I always had a feeling he loved me, heh and I'm supposed to be the dense one. The only reason I didn't bring it up was that I was afraid he would hate me for accusing him. _He smiled a bit, and then he heard the showers stop. _Shit. _He crumpled up the paper and put it in his pocket then rushed back to his seat, acting as if he did nothing wrong. A couple of minutes later Arthur returned wearing some plain spring green pajamas looking at the American suspiciously.

"Okay what did you do?"

"What? I did nothing I swear." He crossed his fingers behind his back.

"Sure…" Arthur said sarcastically.

"Really I didn't do anything!" The Brit sighed.

"Whatever... did you bring your pajamas?"

"Yeah." Alfred brings his pajamas when he goes visit  
England so if he gets drunk he can stay the night to make sure he's okay.

Arthur showed Alfred to the guest room after he got changed. He was wearing a t-shirt that said "The Hero is Here" with a stick figure wearing a cape and holding up the world. His pants were blue with little white stars on them. The guest room was plain, it consists of a fairly large bed, a side table with a lamp on it, a window and that was about it. Alfred sat on the bed.

"Hey Arthur could you get me a glass of water?"

"Fine just wait here." He went to the kitchen mumbling something about not being a servant. He got back in a minute or two later and Alfred was under the covers sitting upright against the backboard.

"Here would you like a goodnight kiss with that?" He said with obvious sarcasm as he placed the glass on the table. He blushed when he realized how embarrassing that sounded.

"Sure!" Alfred said with a goofy, childish smile on his of face, and Arthur's blush deepened.

"You really are a kid aren't you, fine I'll give you one." _It's just a kiss on the forehead, it's nothing. _The Brit told himself as he proceeded to give his former colony a kiss. He had almost reached Alfred's forehead when suddenly Alfred tilted his head up and kissed Arthur on the lips instead. Arthur's eyes widened and he was too shocked to pull away, or was it he didn't want to pull away.

_Yay, it worked! XD _Alfred's hand cupped the other's chin to deepen the kiss. After a few more seconds they stopped due to lack of air. There was a short silence but neither of them noticed because they were thinking of what to say to the other. Arthur was utterly clueless for he was still in a slight shock. Thankfully Alfred broke the silence.

"Listen Arthur, no matter how much I annoy you, call you old, tease you etc. I want you to know that I would never hate you, and that I love you." Arthur blushed but a small smile played on his lips.

"You know that was really cheesy, right?" Arthur said. Alfred chuckled and smiled his signature, goofy smile.

"I know, but it's true." Suddenly Alfred grabbed Arthur by the waist and pulled him down onto the bed so that he was beside him.

"What are you doing?" The flustered Brit said while his cheeks were reddening again.

"Sleep with me tonight, there's more than enough room." Even with his brain screaming, _No it's embarrassing! _,he laid down next to him as he turned off the lights. Alfred brought him closer hugging his body. Arthur's face was tomato read by now.

"G'night Iggy."

"Good night git."

THE END  
(For real this time :3)

WOOT review? (^.^)


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